YOU KNOW YOU’RE DOMINICAN IF . . .
If Some of your favorite expressions consist of:
“coño”
“Anda la mierda”
“Anda el diablo”
“El diache”
“Que Vaina”
“Dimelo”
“Ta’ To”
“Y Es Facil”
“Que lo Que?”
“A Po Ta Bien”
“Que Tripeo”
“Tu si Jode”
“Ta Cool”
“Ta Jevi”
“La creta”
“Tu ta pasa”
“Cojelo suave”
“Que Bufeo”
“Degrasia”
“Mariconaso”
“Malba”
“Barbarasa”
“Pariguayo”
If you live, or got family livin in Washington Heights (better said Guaachinton Heights) . . . Or NY in general, this also includes Florida…
If people tell you to stop screaming when you’re really talking
If you grew up afraid of something called “El Cuco”
If you clap your hands while laughing
If you have more Primos and Primas, and you talk about at least one that is famous or rich (lots of cousins).
If your able to dance without any music
If you learned how to dance merengue and bachata before you could walk
If you point things out with your nose and mouth
If you’ve ever gotten beat with any of the following:
rubber slippers, extension cord, hanger (plastic or metal), big rice spoon
If you waste ALL your money in the summer time buying “frio-frio” RED FLAVOR
If you’ve ever gone outside in rolos and chancletas
If you consider a siesta a sacret tradition for the family. Specially between noon and 2pm where the family gets together and eats, more platanos, rice & beans of course…
If your parents go to a little room in the back of your local bodega “pa juga lo numero” of DR
If you consider platanos one of the major food groups
If you can smell chuletas cookin in your house from down the block
If while in your country, you hear people on the block yellin “se fue la luz!”; Them you also hear “Llego La Luz”
If your house in DR has an oil lamp in every room
If you told scary stories and funny jokes while there was no electricity
If you grew up listening to Fernandito Villalona, Sergio Vargas, and Los Hermanos Rosario
If your dad or uncle claim to be dead broke, yet rock a cell phone and is laced wit mad gold around his neck and wrists
If you Drop Liquor on the floor and say “eso e pa lo muerto!”
If you like El Concon (which is the hard part of the rice) and Habichuelas con dulce.
If you’ve ever gotten whipped by a diablo cojuelo or lechon
If your grandma has a saint picture in her living room
If your sofas are covered in plastic
If you all the juices you have in your house are the type that come in powder, and you just mix with water, like Tang
If you eat Mangu on a daily basis
If you ate rice, beans and some type of meat for dinner yesterday, today and probably will tomorrow. Also for breakfast, lunch and dinner…
If you say words like . . . . . . . . Razor is GILE . . . . . . . . Nailpolish is CUTé . . . . . . . Feminine Pads are KOTE . . . . . . . . Vicks Vapo Rub is Vivaporu . . . . . . . . T-Shirts are POLOCHE . . . . . . . . Watchman is GUACHIMAN . . . . . . . . .Garbage is EL Gabish . . . . . . . .Cereal is CONFLE
(Yea you all know you do it!)
If you believe Vivaporu is the cure for EVERYTHING
If you in a 4-passenger car, u got 7 people in it, and someone yellin “caben ma”
If you’ve ever been in a carro publico ;)
If you use an old t-shirt, towel, or anything as a mop, and use your feet to mop
If you’ve ever let some one throw AGUA FLORIDA on you for good luck
If your house on the island has broken pieces of glass to keep away robbers
If you refer to every cat as MISHU
If your childhood games were called: EL ESCONDIDO, POLLITO PLEIBI, APARA Y BATEA, EL GALLO, or that game with a stick and a wheel
IF your parents dressed you up for Halloween as a VAQUERO, CAMPESINA, GITANA, OR HAWALLANA
If your refridgerator has about 85 magnets on it
If all your pots and pans are inside the oven
If your local bodega does lay-a-away/credit plans (fiao)
If you think Bananas or Platanos are a source of Power and call it “Banana Power”.
If you are proud of your roots, and everywhere you go you take DR with you..Because DR will never leave you..
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